Friday, December 09, 2005

Mental Sharp monthly..TONIGHT!





Mental Sharp is doing there thing tonight with 3 of the best DJs you can find in Philly in one spot. Dont sleep! Lotta grade A mother fuckers are gonna be in the spot for this one. Show up before midnight for the dink specials.

FREE HIP HOP!
Mental Sharp
Blue Horseshoe
20th and Market
FREEEEEE!

Thursday, December 08, 2005

The man is focused.



31 unknown facts about Chuck Norris:


1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

2. A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name was "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

3. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

4. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

5. The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more that meet the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

6. Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly until his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly thereafter all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

7. Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling "Bang!"

8. When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail, his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

9. Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya!"

10. Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilizer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.

11. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

12. When Chuck Norris' wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into the backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."

13. Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity," then you are dead wrong.

14. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

15. Chuck Norris once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper, Jr., insisting that that actually is "his" way.

16. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

17.Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.

18. Chuck Norris has yet to get a Jeopardy question wrong. Jesus has missed two.

19. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

20. Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

21. Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

22. To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

23. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane".

24. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

25. Chuck Norris found out about Conan O'Brien's lever that shows clips from "Walker: Texas Ranger" and is working on a way to make it show clips of Norris having sex with Conan's wife.

26. Chuck Norris once went to a frat party, and proceeded to roundhouse every popped collar in sight. He then drank three kegs and shit on their floor, just because he's Chuck Norris.

27. One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact tea-bagged to death by Chuck Norris.

28. At the end of each week, Chuck Norris murders a dozen white people just to prove he isn't a racist.

29. Chuck Norris punched a woman in the vagina when she didn't give him exact change.

30. Hellen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.

31. Chuck Norris once pulled a bus full of school children teetering over the edge of a cliff back onto the road with his bare hands, saving everybody inside. Even as they cheered, he screamed, "I'm not your savior!" and headbutted the bus over the edge, sending them all to their horrible doom.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

CBK @ TWNW


Mr. Art Cuebik, also known as, The CBK, will be filling in for Low Budget tonight at The Wednesday Night Weekly. Expect the krunk sound tonight.

Weekly resident Ric Rok will also be in the spot same as always playing that breakbeat funk that we all love so much.

Oh yea...$10 all you can drink from 10-12.

holler!

Monday, December 05, 2005

"Once it hits your lips!"


awww shieeeet. PAPERstreet is showing Old School tonight at The Troc. for "Movie Monday". After which there will be a lot of boozing and dancing about to the Town Jewelrz. Sounds like a party but I still have one question...

"Is KFC is still open?"

daaaaaaaa birds.



Monday Night footbal anyone? Jeremiah Trotter (using his name cause hes pretty much the only player left on the squad worth talking about at this point) and the rest of dem' birds take the field tonight for a prime-time match up against the Seattle Seahawks as they fight to stay alive in the fight for the Wild Card spot in the Playoffs. My prediction-Seahawks 45, Eagles 6. Sorry guys, love hurts.

get your Eagles fix here. Lil 610 WIP for that ass.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Questlove.....tonight.

Word on the streets is that ?uestlove of The Roots is playing at the Walnut Room tonight with DJ Record Player. waaahherrrrd.

I dont know the exact address of the Walnut Room but you should be able to figure it out. Its on Walnut street (go figure) betwen 17th and 18th.

enjoy.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Saturday night-Philly.




Tonight at the Blue Horseshoe is the Bi-Monthly "Nothing Fancy" Party. This party is always a good time. Good peoples and some really incredible local artists put there work on display for us all too see. Check the website for examples from the past nothing fancy parties. Some really cool shit going down at this party.

Nothing Fancy Volumes.com

Friday, December 02, 2005

Friday night get down.



Two get downs tonight that Ive heard of:

My boy Jeremy and his Winged Lion Crew are doing there monthly thing thing at the Blue Horseshoe tonight...

10 s. 20th st.
10-2

DJ Lady Jae
Special guest artists coming to paint.


always a good time.

And then two of The Wednesday Night Weekly Residents are doing there monthly White T's, White Belts party over at Ulanna's.

Who: DJ's- Dan The Swede, Emynd and Bo Bliz.

When: Friday December the 2nd, 10pm-2am.

Where: Ulana's, 2nd and Bainbridge, Philadelphia


Thats all I got for right now. Kind of pressed for time but Ill probably have some more info around 7:30-8 tonight.

holler.

R5 falls short? Again?

Before I let you guys read this I gotta tell you this; I wasnt at the Lady Sov. show tonight so I cant really confirm nor deny that this shit went down. But this dude is my dude and Im pretty sure if hes publicly bitching, something went array.

tonight was a fucking disgrace.
first we're told to show up early, then we're made to wait in the cold for two hours because they can't get their shit straight. then we're treated to dj trainwreck and friend playing off a laptop. i don't even think dave p played, let alone diplo (they fuckin knew he couldn't be there.) then some local plays so/so beats for way too long. they oversell the place by at least 50%, then lady sovereign comes on with her mic being maybe half as loud as the mix, and it's feeding back. she couldn't even get through a song. naturally she walks off in disgust. i don't blame her for a second.
and as far as the shit notepad they had people writing their email addresses on, which the door guy was dropping pages of on the dirty ass floor, i can remember one other time, at the saddle creek dvd viewing (ok, that was free) writing my email down hearing they'll have another night, and we'll get free promo stuff, and never hearing shit back. so i'm dying to see what happens this time.
this isn't the first time i've been less than satisfied with an r5 show (not b/c of the talent), but i always kinda defended them to myself. after tonight i need to vent.

on a positive note lady sovereign was cool enough to stand out front and talk to some fans and sign some stuff. i got the poster signed that i stole off the wall. she asked what she should write, i said anything you want. she wrote sorry. she should not be the one apologizing.

ouch.

Get down girl, go head get down.


Just sayin. Nancy O'dell from Access Hollywood is pretty fucking hot. Nancy, I solute you in all of your sexymilfness and I propose this; Me and you. A box of wine. My office ::coughbedroom::. Next Thrusday night?

sayin.